Do you have relationship deal breakers?
A deal breaker is a factor to consider when deciding whether to follow through with something or not. It’s that little something that makes you say “I’m done!” even when you really love someone or you’ve been together forever.
It may sound harsh — after all, no relationship is perfect, right? — but having a list of relationship deal breakers is actually a healthy way to protect yourself from toxic situations.
Don’t get caught up in controlling, hurtful, and potentially dangerous relationships. Here are 6 relationship deal breakers that you should seriously consider when deciding whether your sweetheart is actually worth your time.
There Is Abuse in the Relationship
A healthy relationship is about respect, putting your spouse first, and treating them how you want to be treated.
On the other hand, a partner who lays a hand on you or emotionally abuses you is a major relationship deal-breaker.
Many people convince themselves that just because it happens once doesn’t mean it will happen again.
Remember, you deserve a healthy relationship, and someone who abuses you physically or emotionally even once isn’t worth your time.
You’re a Secret
If you find out that your spouse hasn’t told their friends or family about you, run for your life! Because being a secret means one of three things.
- They are already in a relationship and you are the side piece.
- They can’t commit.
- They are embarrassed by you.
Your time is valuable and shouldn’t be wasted being with someone who would rather keep you as their dirty little secret.
Plans Are Constantly Cancelled
Does your partner always seem to be ditching out on plans with you last minute?
Sure, there are legitimate reasons that your partner may be doing this, such as being called into work unexpectedly, but feeling like the person you’re crazy about is bailing on your company in favor of partying with their friends is definitely shady.
If you find that your long-term partner starts doing this, it may be signs of a deeper problem in the relationship that needs to be discussed.
Substance Abuse Problems
Sitting down with a drink is a great way to relax — and let’s be honest, having a buzz on is fun! But if your spouse needs some sort of substance to have a good time, or if their personality drastically changes when they are under the influence, it can really throw you for a loop.
Substance abuse is one of the biggest relationship deal breakers on this list. It can cause your partner to mistreat you, be untrustworthy, waste money, and make poor decisions that will hurt you.
Why would you want to be around someone who is high or drunk 24/7, anyway?
Your Partner Isn’t Faithful
When it comes to cheating, put your foot down immediately. Don’t forgive and wait for the next round of heartbreak. If you have both agreed to a monogamous relationship, both parties should be respecting that decision.
Even if you put breaking your trust and your heart aside, your partner’s cheating on you puts you at risk for depression, sexually transmitted infections, and major embarrassment.
If your partner doesn’t love and respect you enough to stay faithful, dump them. They aren’t worth your time.
They Fight Dirty
There are times when we’ve all said stupid things in the heat of an argument, but there’s a difference between getting caught up and using a disagreement as an excuse to be a complete jerk.
If, during an argument, your partner or spouse:
- Brings up past experiences with the intention of hurting your feelings
- Calls you rude or degrading names
- Gaslights you to make you feel crazy
- Attacks you instead of the issue
- Uses the silent treatment
Then you should consider walking away.
Healthy relationships are about open communication and fair conflict resolutions.